Renewal

This project has been idle for several months. Life gets in the way. As does procrastination, a bad habit of mine. Let's see if I can begin to get back on the path of inspiration. 

 

"The sun is a daily reminder that we too can rise from the darkness, that we too can shine our own light." 

                                                                                                                                                           -S. Ajna 

 

There is a profound effect in the process of reviewing and re-evaluating one's outlook on life.  As they remind me in my recovery program, "you can always restart your day."  

One of the troubles that I, and probably even you, face on occasion is having some event in daily life that goes against the plans that you set out at the beginning. I can still remember days back when I was a working man where the whole day started out just fine. But then I made a decision to get out of bed...

There is a classic proverb / prayer I remember from my past:

"Dear Lord, so far I've done all right.

I haven't gossiped, haven't lost my temper, haven't been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish or overindulgent.

I'm really glad about that.

But, in a few minutes, I'm going to get out of bed.

And from then on, I'm going to need a lot more help."

One of the things I've learned in the last 17 years, since I have started down a path of renewal that has been helped along by my recovery program, is that "you can restart your day any time you feel like it". 

So you woke up, burned your toast while making breakfast, went out and found out that the battery on your car was dead, making you late for work, which ended up with you being called into the boss' office and reprimanded. Your attitude towards the day and the people you have encountered has gradually sunk to a level where you are sniping at someone who got to the water fountain just before you did and is taking a few seconds longer to get a drink than you deem necessary.

At this point I find it helpful to just step back and recite a prayer that is always at hand if I just take pause:

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, 

courage to change the things I can 

and wisdom to know the difference."

While I won't try to say that results are immediate, I do find that it is helpful in creating a better attitude and focusing on the good things. Sometimes I even manage to completely forget why I got in such a bad mood in the first place.

May your journey be fruitful.

Quiggy

Slowing Down

 

 

"A person who is looking for something doesn't travel very fast." 

                                                                                   -E. B. White 

 

It's an old adage you have probably heard hundreds, if not thousands, of times: "You've got to take time to stop and smell the roses".  Basically, in a rush, rush, rush world (to co-opt a line from The Twilight Zone episode "A Stop at Willoughby"), it helps to take time out from your journey to contemplate the place where you are at the present. You can potentially miss out on some inspiring moments if you are only focused on the goal you are trying to attain.

This entry was inspired by a daily readings from one of my books designed for meditation. The last line of the entry said:

"Often it is not the events in our lives that bring change but the space between events." 

                                                                    -from Touchstones by Hazelden Meditations 

 

How often have I had that goal take precedence over everything else, and neglected to see what was right around me? Something happened to me after I turned about 50, though. I started to stop and not be in such a rush to get where I was going, giving me the opportunity to see things I may not have ever noticed if I had still been entirely focused on the goal I was trying to reach. 

To wit: I often take advantage of the options on my GPS when I go somewhere new. I enter "avoid highways" into the parameters, which often takes me down back country roads, as opposed to the Interstate. Sure, it takes a bit longer to get where I am going, but I have always had a habit of leaving early anyway, so I am never in any rush to get to where I am going.

The adventure comes when I see things that I would never have seen if I stayed on the Interstate. In my article from last year on this site Cultivating Patience, I talked about using that GPS to map out a trip back to Texas from Kansas. In that article I talked  about how that event in my life helped me in my quest for patience.

But there was an added bonus to the trip. Traveling down back roads I saw quite a number of unique sites. including more than one barn with some rather interesting designs. Also I got to see more than enough of the state's flower, the sunflower, in patches. The whole trip had a calming effect on me. 

So, in essence, if you take time to "stop and smell the roses" there are benefits to taking time out to see what is around you. The beauty of the world can be both nature made and man made. All it takes is an open mind to appreciate what is not necessarily "hidden", but essentially missable if one is too focused on the immediate goal.

Make your spiritual journey be fruitful.

Quiggy 

Character Driven

 

 

 

 

 "With the story of your life, you don't get to write the whole book, just your character."

                                                                                                                      -Olivia Munn

 

Been a month since I came into this room, so an update is probably required.

In addition to the cancer that inspired this blog in the first place, I am having some health issues, probably associated with my advancing years. I was in the hospital earlier this month, and diagnosed with hypokalemia, which means I have a severe deficiency in potassium (or at least a problem retaining it in my system). As such, fatigue and other symptoms made some things difficult, one of them finding the wherewithal to keep this journal active. Hopefully I am on a path to recovery in that area...

 

So, in the vein of what I can do to advance the character of this novel that someone or something is writing (call it God, or whatever you want), I am not writing the plot line. (I would have given myself a different life, I am sure.) Whatever God sees fit to put me through in this life is designed to make me fit more in tune with His will. 

My input, of course, in the scheme of things, is my reaction to the outward stimuli that He puts in my path. God gave each and every person the attribute of "free will". Think back to the story of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. God told them "there's a tree over there, but don't touch it or eat it's fruit." And then He let them decide for themselves whether to obey.

God could have easily put up some kind of force field around the tree, or outfitted Adam and Eve with some kind of celestial shock collar that would zap them if they got to close to the tree, but he gave them the opportunity to make the choice for themselves. This, to me, defines the essence of the character in the story that is my life. I have choices, and those choices drive the story in the direction that results. See, in this idea, I have some input into the plot, but God still retains the privilege of writing the overall story. 

Getting back to my health issue. There are resources out there to help me navigate the "low potassium" difficulties I am currently experiencing. In that respect, I made my first choice by ordering a couple of books on how to gain a high potassium lifestyle  for seniors. The next choice, probably the more difficult one, considering my history of procrastination, is to implement what those books tell me to do. That is the essence of using my choices in developing the character in God's grand novel of my life.

May your spiritual life be fruitful.

Quiggy   

 

Wind Beneath the Sails

 

 

 

 

"Look at the sparrows; they do not know what they will do in the next moment. Let us literally live from moment to moment." 

                                                                                                                                           -Mahatma Gandhi 

 

The way to serenity often, for me, is to not obsess over what is going to happen tomorrow. The true path to happiness is to take things as they come. Often what happens in the future is not near as bad as what I envision the future to be. I like to think of the future as being a result of an infinite number of possibilities.

What really matters is what I can do now. Each decision I make affects the outcome of the future, but if I try to manipulate the path of my future, sometimes it doesn't actually go the way I intended. Better for me if I just "do the next right thing" and let God govern the way the results come. When I am transfixed on a desired outcome, I might miss some important thing I might learn from whatever is happening right now.

For instance: When I was young, after those childhood dreams of being a policeman or a fireman (and I don't even remember if I actually dreamed to be one of those, but it serves as an illustration), my biggest dream was to be a writer. And, no, my dream did not involve actually being a famous writer of worldwide renown, I just wanted to have something to be able to point to and say "Yeah, I wrote that").

I never really completed that dream until I discovered the blogosphere. Which means I just had to wait and bide my time. But in the process I took it one day at a time. Now, in truth, I don't know if anybody is actually reading any of my blogs. (Besides this one, I also am involved in writing a movie review blog on this same platform; The Midnite Drive-In.) Neither one is going to bring me prestige, but decades from now it will still be out there on the Net. And that is all I ever really wanted.

In 2017 I was privileged to also have a piece I wrote appear in print in the Grapevine, a magazine published by Alcoholics Anonymous. As I told my sponsor in the program at the time, if I had known all it took was for me to get happy with my life to get published I might have done years ago. Living for the moment, I just wrote down some thoughts on my relationship with Pennie, my cat, and submitted it to the publishers. I then just forgot about it. If it got published, OK; and if it was rejected, that too was O.K. 

I have since then been privileged to be published twice more in that magazine. Both times I just let the wind take the sails wherever they might lead.  What happens tomorrow, only God knows for sure, and I'm happy to let the boat go where it will.

May your spiritual journey be fruitful.

Quiggy 

  

Generosity

 

 

"Generosity brings happiness at every stage of it's expression. We experience joy in forming the intention to be generous. We experience joy in the actual act of giving. And we experience joy in remembering the fact that we have given."

                                                                                                                                          - Guatama Buddha 

 

One of my favorite memories of years past is when I went to a restaurant, Shoney's I think, for a breakfast buffet. After I finished I went up to pay my bill. They had one of those crane machines that had stuffed animals stocked in it. I used to be somewhat addicted to those things, not the least because I had a success rate of about 80% at getting the thing I went after.

Anyway, while I was waiting to check out I saw this woman and her young son fiddle with the crane machine trying to get a stuffed dog. At 50 cents a pop, she attempted about 4 or 5 times at it with no success, and then said to him, "I'm sorry. I guess luck is not on our side."

I stepped up behind her and dropped my 50 cents in the slot and zip! pop! got the same dog on the first try. I turned to the mother and son and gave the boy the dog with a "here you go." The mother asked "why did you do that?" In all honesty I told her "I don't really want these things. I just like showing off that I can do it."

I never saw that mother and son again. I like to think the kid got years of enjoyment from the stuffed dog, but I am not under the illusion that either the son or his mother remember the event. But I do. Even going on 30 years later. And it warms my heart to remember the smile on that boy's face when I gave it to him. 

Generosity sometimes comes hard when you are focused on just the immediate situation you are trying to accomplish and not noticing that things are going on around you that might give you the opportunity to be blessed. 

It doesn't always require an outlay of money to be generous, sometimes it can just be a matter of a minute of time. Holding the door open for someone. Letting that guy or lady behind you in the grocery line go first, since he or she only has a couple of items, but your basket is full. Or just a gift of time, and effort on your part to help a neighbor, or even a stranger.

When I was 21, I had a paper route. After delivering the papers one morning (about 4am), I was heading home to get some much needed rest. On the way home I saw a woman pulled over with a flat tire, and she was obviously struggling to use that car jack they put in cars. I stopped and ask her if she needed help and ended up changing her tire for her. She offered me $20 as a payment, but I declined, telling her I was glad to help. I think I may have said something along the lines of "pass it on". 

I admit I looked at that $20 bill with a bit of remorse at having turned it down, since in 1983 that was a lot of money, but the feeling I got for helping out a stranger in her time of need more than made up for the loss, which would probably have been used on alcoholic beverages anyway... and that would only have been a fleeting feeling of happiness, and I probably wouldn't even remember the incident today like I do.

Thus I'm not saying you should devote half of your surplus income to the local charity to be generous. Many more opportunities can be had just by doing something that others seem to ignore: like picking up that piece of paper lying by the trash barrel. Even that minor act can be an act of generosity. Just keep your mind open to the possibilities of being given the opportunity to be generous.

May your spiritual journey be fruitful.

Quiggy 

 

An Approach to the Future

 

 

 

"A man is as unhappy as he has convinced himself he is." 

                                                                              -Seneca 

 

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." 

                                                                                                                                -Matthew: 6:34 (NIT) 

 

Sometimes things happen in my life that cause to be apprehensive about the future. Not often, mind you, because I have almost always had the idea that the future is going to happen at it's own pace, no matter what I do. I am a mixture of several philosophical outlooks. In this case I am sort of like how Egg Chen sums up Chinese philosophy in Big Trouble in Little China:

"Look at what we have to work with. Buddhism, Confucianism, Taoist alchemy and sorcery. We take what we want and leave the rest."  

So my approach to things that are out of my control, such as the future, tend to take a path of "que sera, sera". In case you haven't even heard the old Doris Day song, here is the chorus:

"Que sera, sera!

Whatever will be, will be.

The future's not ours to see,

Que sera, sera!"

 

You might say I am somewhat of a fatalist in that respect. And sometimes you might be right. But a pessimistic or apathetic approach is not the whole ball of wax, in my case. Because I can approach it from a perspective of possibly influencing the outcome of the future by my actions here in the present. I do believe that my present situation is the ultimate product of the actions I took in the past. That's why I am here today, instead of being a diplomat in some foreign country or some other such alternate universe outcome.

And, as I stated earlier, I believe that none of it was by my working at trying to achieve this goal, I just let the chips fall where they may. Where I will be, say, six months from now, is entirely up to the fates, or God, or what have you. All that I can do, in my opinion, is just try to strive towards making this very moment a benefit rather than a hindrance to my progress towards that future. 

May your spiritual journey be fruitful.

Quiggy   

First Steps

 

 

"Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step." 

                                                                                                             - Martin Luther King. Jr. 

 

 One of the most iconic scenes, for me, in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, is when Indiana comes to a vast chasm in his final quest. Reading from his father's diary notes about this challenge he quotes: "only in a leap from the lion's head will he prove his worth". 

The thing is, at this point Indiana Jones must complete his quest to retrieve the legendary Holy Grail of Arthurian legend, because, if he doesn't his father will surely die. So there is only going forward: there is no going back, and giving up is not an option. But the chasm is far too wide for him to leap to the other side. He finally determines that it is a "leap of faith". Faith, which is something that Jones lacks.

Have you ever had to step out into the unknown, relying only on faith to guide you through whatever may lay beyond? Speaking only from personal experience, I have to admit that "faith" has been seriously lacking in my endeavors. I have almost always relied on whatever I could muster in my own self-sufficiency to help me muddle through hard times. 

But reliance on a spiritual advisor, whom I choose to call God,  is sometimes necessary in hard times. "The future is uncertain and the end is always near", as Jim Morrison once said, is far too cynical a sentiment when you have help from a higher source. I no longer look at life from such a cynical point of view. Stepping out into the unknown doesn't have to be done alone.

This blog is a perfect example of taking a first step or, if you prefer, a"leap of faith". I honestly don't know whether my own musings and ramblings about a search for meaning and progress will affect anyone but me. And, to tell the truth, I really don't dwell on it. I am writing this blog as a way of coping with my current situation, so, as I said in the initial post, the goal is really to enlighten myself. I have hope that others will get something out of it also. But if I had never taken the first step to create the blog, all of these musings would have remained just in my mind.

Take time to share and express the joys as well as the misgivings of your life with others. Your "experience, strength and hope" as we call it in my recovery program will be of help to others. That's why I leave the comment section open. I am interested in hearing how you are coping with life.

May your spiritual journey be fruitful.

Quiggy