I know EXACTLY what's on your mind right now, especially if you are over 40. That little brain worm (sort of like an ear worm) is running through your head and you've got a snappy little reggae beat and a singer telling you that in every life there is trouble, but that worry makes it double.
I am coming back to that concept of serenity. Serenity, as a concept, is easier to contemplate from the outside than it is to employ it from the inside. I find that I can desire the peace and inner calmness that serenity would provide, but often I find myself looking longingly through that doorway that leads to serenity, being held back by my own natural pessimism and the frustrations that abound in my life.
I read somewhere that serenity is not a goal. You can't just run a race and cross the finish line, and presto! Serenity. The process requires an active endeavor to shut the worries out of the mind and thus create a space for serenity. The old adage that nature abhors a vacuum can be translated here to a mental state. When I shut out those negative thoughts, something has to take the open space and fill it.
When I worry, I am in essence saying that there is something wrong with my life and that I can do nothing about it, much as I would like to. (See the chart above). The way to achieve a serene state is to accept the fact that I can't change the outcome and let it go. This is not defeatism, because defeatism would stir me into another realm of the negative state of mind. Pessimism. "Oh, well, it's all going to Hell in a hand basket, so what's the point?" This, too, is a state that is counterproductive to achieving serenity.
Looking at the positive side of a situation can be a challenge sometimes. And believe me, if you try, there is some positive aspect to most, if not all situations. Why do you think people of religious backgrounds say, when a loved one dies, "well, he's gone on to a better place"? It's a matter of mindfulness, the ability to let the worries go by the wayside. Instead "flight or flight", think in terms of "rest and digest". Meditation, that sometimes elusive state for me, is in effect the best way to not worry and be happy.
In addition, one blogger I read on the subject suggested journaling. In other words, something like this blog. I came up with the blog idea from a suggestion by my cousin when I was diagnosed with this cancer, but the blogger hit the nail on the head. One other thing the blogger suggested on the path of serenity was visualization. In other words, think happy thoughts. I think that means if you think happy thoughts you end up building a wall that worry has a difficult time scaling.
Now, the next goal would be to try to create physical space that inspires a world of happy thoughts, and I have to admit this is probably going to be my most difficult assignment. That same blogger suggested decluttering your physical environment. (In other words, "clean your room...") 60+ years of just collecting useless stuff, as well as not letting stuff go when they have outlived their usefulness, has made me pretty much a hoarder, of sorts.
I laughed at her at the time, but a landlady I used to rent from told me that if I cleaned up my room, then the evil spirits would leave in disgust and the good spirits would move in. I think she was a Catholic, she had a lot of Catholic church iconography in her own home. But maybe there was something to what she said. Even if I don't particularly subscribe to that idea of "evil spirits", any more than I subscribe to feng shui, there seems to be a connection to the environment I surround myself with and the mental state I have living in said messy environment. So that's my next project.
May your spiritual life be fruitful.
Quiggy
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