Wind Beneath the Sails

 

 

 

 

"Look at the sparrows; they do not know what they will do in the next moment. Let us literally live from moment to moment." 

                                                                                                                                           -Mahatma Gandhi 

 

The way to serenity often, for me, is to not obsess over what is going to happen tomorrow. The true path to happiness is to take things as they come. Often what happens in the future is not near as bad as what I envision the future to be. I like to think of the future as being a result of an infinite number of possibilities.

What really matters is what I can do now. Each decision I make affects the outcome of the future, but if I try to manipulate the path of my future, sometimes it doesn't actually go the way I intended. Better for me if I just "do the next right thing" and let God govern the way the results come. When I am transfixed on a desired outcome, I might miss some important thing I might learn from whatever is happening right now.

For instance: When I was young, after those childhood dreams of being a policeman or a fireman (and I don't even remember if I actually dreamed to be one of those, but it serves as an illustration), my biggest dream was to be a writer. And, no, my dream did not involve actually being a famous writer of worldwide renown, I just wanted to have something to be able to point to and say "Yeah, I wrote that").

I never really completed that dream until I discovered the blogosphere. Which means I just had to wait and bide my time. But in the process I took it one day at a time. Now, in truth, I don't know if anybody is actually reading any of my blogs. (Besides this one, I also am involved in writing a movie review blog on this same platform; The Midnite Drive-In.) Neither one is going to bring me prestige, but decades from now it will still be out there on the Net. And that is all I ever really wanted.

In 2017 I was privileged to also have a piece I wrote appear in print in the Grapevine, a magazine published by Alcoholics Anonymous. As I told my sponsor in the program at the time, if I had known all it took was for me to get happy with my life to get published I might have done years ago. Living for the moment, I just wrote down some thoughts on my relationship with Pennie, my cat, and submitted it to the publishers. I then just forgot about it. If it got published, OK; and if it was rejected, that too was O.K. 

I have since then been privileged to be published twice more in that magazine. Both times I just let the wind take the sails wherever they might lead.  What happens tomorrow, only God knows for sure, and I'm happy to let the boat go where it will.

May your spiritual journey be fruitful.

Quiggy 

  

Generosity

 

 

"Generosity brings happiness at every stage of it's expression. We experience joy in forming the intention to be generous. We experience joy in the actual act of giving. And we experience joy in remembering the fact that we have given."

                                                                                                                                          - Guatama Buddha 

 

One of my favorite memories of years past is when I went to a restaurant, Shoney's I think, for a breakfast buffet. After I finished I went up to pay my bill. They had one of those crane machines that had stuffed animals stocked in it. I used to be somewhat addicted to those things, not the least because I had a success rate of about 80% at getting the thing I went after.

Anyway, while I was waiting to check out I saw this woman and her young son fiddle with the crane machine trying to get a stuffed dog. At 50 cents a pop, she attempted about 4 or 5 times at it with no success, and then said to him, "I'm sorry. I guess luck is not on our side."

I stepped up behind her and dropped my 50 cents in the slot and zip! pop! got the same dog on the first try. I turned to the mother and son and gave the boy the dog with a "here you go." The mother asked "why did you do that?" In all honesty I told her "I don't really want these things. I just like showing off that I can do it."

I never saw that mother and son again. I like to think the kid got years of enjoyment from the stuffed dog, but I am not under the illusion that either the son or his mother remember the event. But I do. Even going on 30 years later. And it warms my heart to remember the smile on that boy's face when I gave it to him. 

Generosity sometimes comes hard when you are focused on just the immediate situation you are trying to accomplish and not noticing that things are going on around you that might give you the opportunity to be blessed. 

It doesn't always require an outlay of money to be generous, sometimes it can just be a matter of a minute of time. Holding the door open for someone. Letting that guy or lady behind you in the grocery line go first, since he or she only has a couple of items, but your basket is full. Or just a gift of time, and effort on your part to help a neighbor, or even a stranger.

When I was 21, I had a paper route. After delivering the papers one morning (about 4am), I was heading home to get some much needed rest. On the way home I saw a woman pulled over with a flat tire, and she was obviously struggling to use that car jack they put in cars. I stopped and ask her if she needed help and ended up changing her tire for her. She offered me $20 as a payment, but I declined, telling her I was glad to help. I think I may have said something along the lines of "pass it on". 

I admit I looked at that $20 bill with a bit of remorse at having turned it down, since in 1983 that was a lot of money, but the feeling I got for helping out a stranger in her time of need more than made up for the loss, which would probably have been used on alcoholic beverages anyway... and that would only have been a fleeting feeling of happiness, and I probably wouldn't even remember the incident today like I do.

Thus I'm not saying you should devote half of your surplus income to the local charity to be generous. Many more opportunities can be had just by doing something that others seem to ignore: like picking up that piece of paper lying by the trash barrel. Even that minor act can be an act of generosity. Just keep your mind open to the possibilities of being given the opportunity to be generous.

May your spiritual journey be fruitful.

Quiggy 

 

An Approach to the Future

 

 

 

"A man is as unhappy as he has convinced himself he is." 

                                                                              -Seneca 

 

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." 

                                                                                                                                -Matthew: 6:34 (NIT) 

 

Sometimes things happen in my life that cause to be apprehensive about the future. Not often, mind you, because I have almost always had the idea that the future is going to happen at it's own pace, no matter what I do. I am a mixture of several philosophical outlooks. In this case I am sort of like how Egg Chen sums up Chinese philosophy in Big Trouble in Little China:

"Look at what we have to work with. Buddhism, Confucianism, Taoist alchemy and sorcery. We take what we want and leave the rest."  

So my approach to things that are out of my control, such as the future, tend to take a path of "que sera, sera". In case you haven't even heard the old Doris Day song, here is the chorus:

"Que sera, sera!

Whatever will be, will be.

The future's not ours to see,

Que sera, sera!"

 

You might say I am somewhat of a fatalist in that respect. And sometimes you might be right. But a pessimistic or apathetic approach is not the whole ball of wax, in my case. Because I can approach it from a perspective of possibly influencing the outcome of the future by my actions here in the present. I do believe that my present situation is the ultimate product of the actions I took in the past. That's why I am here today, instead of being a diplomat in some foreign country or some other such alternate universe outcome.

And, as I stated earlier, I believe that none of it was by my working at trying to achieve this goal, I just let the chips fall where they may. Where I will be, say, six months from now, is entirely up to the fates, or God, or what have you. All that I can do, in my opinion, is just try to strive towards making this very moment a benefit rather than a hindrance to my progress towards that future. 

May your spiritual journey be fruitful.

Quiggy   

First Steps

 

 

"Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step." 

                                                                                                             - Martin Luther King. Jr. 

 

 One of the most iconic scenes, for me, in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, is when Indiana comes to a vast chasm in his final quest. Reading from his father's diary notes about this challenge he quotes: "only in a leap from the lion's head will he prove his worth". 

The thing is, at this point Indiana Jones must complete his quest to retrieve the legendary Holy Grail of Arthurian legend, because, if he doesn't his father will surely die. So there is only going forward: there is no going back, and giving up is not an option. But the chasm is far too wide for him to leap to the other side. He finally determines that it is a "leap of faith". Faith, which is something that Jones lacks.

Have you ever had to step out into the unknown, relying only on faith to guide you through whatever may lay beyond? Speaking only from personal experience, I have to admit that "faith" has been seriously lacking in my endeavors. I have almost always relied on whatever I could muster in my own self-sufficiency to help me muddle through hard times. 

But reliance on a spiritual advisor, whom I choose to call God,  is sometimes necessary in hard times. "The future is uncertain and the end is always near", as Jim Morrison once said, is far too cynical a sentiment when you have help from a higher source. I no longer look at life from such a cynical point of view. Stepping out into the unknown doesn't have to be done alone.

This blog is a perfect example of taking a first step or, if you prefer, a"leap of faith". I honestly don't know whether my own musings and ramblings about a search for meaning and progress will affect anyone but me. And, to tell the truth, I really don't dwell on it. I am writing this blog as a way of coping with my current situation, so, as I said in the initial post, the goal is really to enlighten myself. I have hope that others will get something out of it also. But if I had never taken the first step to create the blog, all of these musings would have remained just in my mind.

Take time to share and express the joys as well as the misgivings of your life with others. Your "experience, strength and hope" as we call it in my recovery program will be of help to others. That's why I leave the comment section open. I am interested in hearing how you are coping with life.

May your spiritual journey be fruitful.

Quiggy 

Inspiration and Work Ethic

I finally got a page-a-day desktop calendar yesterday for 2026. 

 

This is rather late in the year for me. I usually buy a desktop calendar in October or November of the year before. But chalk it up to moving to a small town area. When I lived in San Marcos (in south Texas). there was an outlet mall just down the road, and a calendar and games store was easily accessible. Over the 35 years I lived there I made an effort to buy a new desktop calendar every year. Usually just something that caught my eye, with no agenda for a specific topic. For instance, one year I bought a Marvel comics calendar.

The one pictured above I found in a bookstore. It is the "Inspire 2026" calendar.  Since I started this blog I have looked for sparks of an idea that would inspire me to write. With this inspirational quote calendar I have the potential of a spark every single day (although I probably won't post every single day... I am a great one for procrastination...)

Already, however, I have, from the backlog of the previous pages from 21 days, a couple of really good quotes and a couple more that have some serious potential.

"If you want to fly, you have to give up the things that weigh you down." 

                                                                                         -Toni Morrison 

 

One of the most important things I am learning in these declining years is that that affinity for procrastination I mentioned above is a serious hindrance to my progress, whether in the physical realm or the spiritual realm. I have dreams like anyone else, but as someone once said "great journeys begin with a single step." Meaning that if I want to achieve any particular goal I actually have to get started on it right away, and not put it off until later.

This blog, for instance. If you know the background, the initial idea to start it was sparked by a comment my cousin made. All well and good, but the idea would have just remained that, an idea, if I hadn't stepped up and wrote the first entry. The blog can be useful only if I continue to fight that inclination to put off indefinitely what could have been done today.

In the same respect, the life I want to live, or what remains of it at least, can only progress towards a goal I set if I remember that I need to get started on the journey if I want results. Nothing is every accomplished if all I do is dream of a better future. I actually have to strive to reach that better future.

May your spiritual journey be fruitful.

Quiggy 

Being Grateful

 

 

 

 

"He is a wise man who does not grieve for things he has not, but rejoices for the things he has."

                                                                                                                                         -Epictetus 

 

Once, in 2009, when I first started attending meetings in my addiction recovery group, I went after the meeting to Cracker Barrel to get something to eat.

For those of you who may not be intimately familiar with Cracker Barrel, it is a restaurant / gift shop. Typically the front is a gift shop, with all kinds of Southern inspired knickknacks, with a dining room connected to it where you can get old-fashioned Southern fare. BTW, the best part of the dining establishment portion is that you can get breakfast all day! Which is why I went there at 1:00 in the afternoon... I can eat breakfast anytime.

Anyway, I went to get my meal, and when I went to check out at the front, there was a little tray with polished stones that had inspirational messages imprinted on them.

 

I browsed through the pile just out of curiosity, but I ended up buying one that had  the word "Gratitude" imprinted on it. I brought it home and put it on my nightstand. It was there to remind to be grateful.

But I am the most disorganized person in the world. For the next 6 or 7 years I would put that stone somewhere, but I would forget about it.  Over that period of time, I would occasionally find it, and it would inspire me to make a "gratitude list". Then, as per usual, I would misplace it again in a week or two. 

Finally, about 10 years ago, upon rediscovering the hiding place that I had last used, I determined I was going to put it on my computer desk in front of my monitor. I was going to keep it there, and it's presence would remind me each day to think about things I am grateful for. Sometimes that list is short and sometimes it is extremely long: it all depends on how much time I actually spend contemplating gratitude. But even if, as I am wont to say when asked how I am doing, the list only comprises three things ("I'm alive. I'm awake. And I'm sober."), that is progress in the quest to be grateful for today.

Here's the deal: I fully believe that each and every event, although maybe on the negative side at the outset, has at least some little niche where gratitude can exist. For instance, if you have been following along from the beginning, you know that in late 2024 I was told that my job of 30 years was going to be no more, since the company had decided to close up that location. The initial reaction could have taken hold and stayed, that of "Woe is me! What will I do now?"

Instead, as I intimated in one of my earlier posts, that initial thought was transferred to a more grateful thought in that I saw the opportunity to move in with my sister. Both of us are unmarried and neither of us had an extended family, so we were all that was left of immediate family. The fact is, not only did I find gratitude in the fact that she was agreeable to a roommate situation, but the loss of the job and it's negative impact, was immediately put on a back burner. I am grateful now that the company decided to close the plant. It gave me the motivation to move closer (we were living 300+ miles apart at the time, and only saw each other once a year), and the resulting situation is a better relationship.

When I feel the pressure of a bad situation bearing down on me, I find it uselful to take a look at it more intently and try to find that thread of positive reaction to a potentially negative situation. It is there. Believe me. The only thing I have to do is to get out of myself and look at it as a casual observer.

May your spiritual journey be fruitful.

Quiggy 

 

Don't Worry. Be Happy.

 

 

 

I know EXACTLY what's on your mind right now, especially if you are over 40. That little brain worm (sort of like an ear worm) is running through your head and you've got a snappy little reggae beat and a singer telling you that in every life there is trouble, but that worry makes it double.  

I am coming back to that concept of serenity. Serenity, as a concept, is easier to contemplate from the outside than it is to employ it from the inside. I find that I can desire the peace and inner calmness that serenity would provide, but often I find myself looking longingly through that doorway that leads to serenity, being held back by my own natural pessimism and the frustrations that abound in my life.

I read somewhere that serenity is not a goal. You can't just run a race and cross the finish line, and presto! Serenity. The process requires an active endeavor to shut the worries out of the mind and thus create a space for serenity. The old adage that nature abhors a vacuum can be translated here to a mental state. When I shut out those negative thoughts, something has to take the open space and fill it.

When I worry, I am in essence saying that there is something wrong with my life and that I can do nothing about it, much as I would like to. (See the chart above). The way to achieve a serene state is to accept the fact that I can't change the outcome and let it go. This is not defeatism, because defeatism would stir me into another realm of the negative state of mind. Pessimism. "Oh, well, it's all going to Hell in a hand basket, so what's the point?" This, too, is a state that is counterproductive to achieving serenity.

Looking at the positive side of a situation can be a challenge sometimes. And believe me, if you try, there is some positive aspect to most, if not all situations. Why do you think people of religious backgrounds say, when a loved one dies, "well, he's gone on to a better place"? It's a matter of mindfulness, the ability to let the worries go by the wayside. Instead "flight or flight", think in terms of "rest and digest". Meditation, that sometimes elusive state for me, is in effect the best way to not worry and be happy.

In addition, one blogger I read on the subject suggested journaling. In other words, something like this blog. I came up with the blog idea from a suggestion by my cousin when I was diagnosed with this cancer, but the blogger hit the nail on the head. One other thing the blogger suggested on the path of serenity was visualization. In other words, think happy thoughts. I think that means if you think happy thoughts you end up building a wall that worry has a difficult time scaling.

Now, the next goal would be to try to create physical space that inspires a world of happy thoughts, and I have to admit this is probably going to be my most difficult assignment. That same blogger suggested decluttering your physical environment. (In other words, "clean your room...") 60+ years of just collecting useless stuff, as well as not letting stuff go when they have outlived their usefulness, has made me pretty much a hoarder, of sorts. 

I laughed at her at the time, but a landlady I used to rent from told me that if I cleaned up my room, then the evil spirits would leave in disgust and the good spirits would move in. I think she was a Catholic, she had a lot of Catholic church iconography in her own home. But maybe there was something to what she said. Even if I don't particularly subscribe to that idea of "evil spirits", any more than I subscribe to feng shui, there seems to be a connection to the environment I surround myself with and the mental state I have living in said messy environment. So that's my next project.

May your spiritual life be fruitful.

Quiggy