"He is a wise man who does not grieve for things he has not, but rejoices for the things he has."
-Epictetus
Once, in 2009, when I first started attending meetings in my addiction recovery group, I went after the meeting to Cracker Barrel to get something to eat.
For those of you who may not be intimately familiar with Cracker Barrel, it is a restaurant / gift shop. Typically the front is a gift shop, with all kinds of Southern inspired knickknacks, with a dining room connected to it where you can get old-fashioned Southern fare. BTW, the best part of the dining establishment portion is that you can get breakfast all day! Which is why I went there at 1:00 in the afternoon... I can eat breakfast anytime.
Anyway, I went to get my meal, and when I went to check out at the front, there was a little tray with polished stones that had inspirational messages imprinted on them.
I browsed through the pile just out of curiosity, but I ended up buying one that had the word "Gratitude" imprinted on it. I brought it home and put it on my nightstand. It was there to remind to be grateful.
But I am the most disorganized person in the world. For the next 6 or 7 years I would put that stone somewhere, but I would forget about it. Over that period of time, I would occasionally find it, and it would inspire me to make a "gratitude list". Then, as per usual, I would misplace it again in a week or two.
Finally, about 10 years ago, upon rediscovering the hiding place that I had last used, I determined I was going to put it on my computer desk in front of my monitor. I was going to keep it there, and it's presence would remind me each day to think about things I am grateful for. Sometimes that list is short and sometimes it is extremely long: it all depends on how much time I actually spend contemplating gratitude. But even if, as I am wont to say when asked how I am doing, the list only comprises three things ("I'm alive. I'm awake. And I'm sober."), that is progress in the quest to be grateful for today.
Here's the deal: I fully believe that each and every event, although maybe on the negative side at the outset, has at least some little niche where gratitude can exist. For instance, if you have been following along from the beginning, you know that in late 2024 I was told that my job of 30 years was going to be no more, since the company had decided to close up that location. The initial reaction could have taken hold and stayed, that of "Woe is me! What will I do now?"
Instead, as I intimated in one of my earlier posts, that initial thought was transferred to a more grateful thought in that I saw the opportunity to move in with my sister. Both of us are unmarried and neither of us had an extended family, so we were all that was left of immediate family. The fact is, not only did I find gratitude in the fact that she was agreeable to a roommate situation, but the loss of the job and it's negative impact, was immediately put on a back burner. I am grateful now that the company decided to close the plant. It gave me the motivation to move closer (we were living 300+ miles apart at the time, and only saw each other once a year), and the resulting situation is a better relationship.
When I feel the pressure of a bad situation bearing down on me, I find it uselful to take a look at it more intently and try to find that thread of positive reaction to a potentially negative situation. It is there. Believe me. The only thing I have to do is to get out of myself and look at it as a casual observer.
May your spiritual journey be fruitful.
Quiggy
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