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        Background for this blog:  I recently was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. My journey in this realm is coming to an inevitable end....

Temperance vs. Temptation




Years ago I had a cat. Her name was Pennie.

Pennie taught me as much as I taught her. In particular, I think of what she taught me about temptation and succumbing to, instead of controlling, desires.

I had a desk on which Pennie would climb up and sit. Sometimes when she did that I would grab a ball of string, unravel it a little, and dangle it in front of her. As cats are wont to do, Pennie would paw at the string. Sometimes I would dangle it just out of her reach over the edge of the desk. Often she would reach too far and lose her balance and fall off the desk to the floor.

(I can hear you now. "That's cruel!" Come on, people! It was less than a three foot fall. She never got hurt.) 

I got to thinking about it one day at a meeting in my recovery program. I compared the temptation to drink somewhat to my furry friend and her ball of string. Putting myself in harm's way by going to a bar, even if ostensibly I was just going to watch a sports game, could easily have led to the temptation to reduce my resolve to not drink.

As a result I listened to a LOT of games on the radio. (I didn't have my own T.V., which was why I would have even considered going to a public place to watch one...) One of the common aphorisms I often hear in recovery meetings is "If you hang around in a barber shop long enough, eventually you are going to get a haircut." You can take that and apply it to the bar. If I continued to go to bars, it is a foregone conclusion that eventually my resolve would have been reduced and I probably would have said "well, one won't hurt me..."

Now, the essence of the recovery program I am in says I don't HAVE to do it alone. I can count on others to help me in my quest. Which is why Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) is not the ONLY program in the pond. You also have Overeaters Anonymous (OA), Gamblers Anonymous (GA), Sexaholics Anonymous (SA), several drug specific programs like Cocaine Anonymous (CA). Heroin Anonymous (HA), Marijuana Anonymous (MA) and a variety of other groups that help people who may be addicted to something.

The temptation to over indulge does not have to be limited to just intoxicating beverages, drugs, or other less than desirable situations, however. For instance, I absolutely LOVE cheesecake. But if I buy a whole cheesecake and proceed to try to eat the whole damn thing in one sitting, not only am I going to get a serious stomach ache, but I also won't have any left to share or eat at a later date.

This is where the concept of temperance comes in. In essence I have to become "master of my own domain", that essence of the first part of the previously mentioned Dichotomy of Control. The idea is that I must take action in that part of my life that I can control, in this case my desires, and keep them in rein. And that includes emotions, which I have touched on previously.

Let me say this: It's OK to be angry. If someone cuts me off in traffic, the immediate emotional response that comes, to be upset at the infraction, may be hardly avoidable, at least it is for me. The problem comes when I dwell on it too long. It is out of my control when the actions of others interact with my own personal space, but it is my control to prevent it from taking over my own personal attitudes.

"Most powerful is he who has himself in his own power."
                                                                                -Seneca 
 
"We pause when agitated" is a phrase I have heard. Often it takes a few minutes for me to move from agitation to reflection, but when I do, I leave myself open to the insights that God may reveal to me. I am usually more receptive to the lessons I get from rebuke or remonstrance when I have over indulged in negative emotions than I am to curbing those negative emotions in the first place.  But these are teaching moments. And, like anything else in my life, I can take what I learn and use it to improve my life, if only I will stop and take time to listen.
 
May your spiritual journey be fruitful.
 
Quiggy  

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